Mistakes

I had taken myself off of my Anxiety meds. I think I was in a false sense of security. That I had overcome or “beaten” the need to have them.

While I don’t think this is the cause of my breakdown – it did not help. My resiliency was at an all time low and I needed some back up. Some people have thick skin, some have thin skin – at that point I had been flayed and someone was on one side with salt and someone on the other with lemon juice. By the time I had put in my notice, I was leaving to my car and bursting into tears, brushing myself off and coming back in.

There is a positive I suppose out of all of this. If it can be called as such. I was so unguarded that it has forced me to open my eyes and really become more self-aware at my actual condition rather than where I was when I was just covering things up.

It was a wake up call – not without consequences – but it had it’s time to give me the courage to actually face my reality.

Something something only can go up when you hit rock bottom.