One of the things that I want to start doing is regardless of what I am journaling on. Try and name 3 positive things that happened every day. Even if they are shitty.
***I finally signed myself up for sword fighting/fencing – I have been wanting to do that for years and always made excuses.
***I had a job interview today for a position that would allow me to have a much better work/life balance and maintain a life outside of work
***Found new insurance because my current plan is getting cancelled (which is great because I have WAY more biopsies to get done)
Feel like I did not get much accomplished that I wanted to get done. Sleep has been a real pain in the ass. I have not been able to sleep more than 6 hours for the past 3 weeks and I usually have been averaging around 4 – 4.5 hours.
Looking for a new dermatologist after the last mix up as I have a lot more that need to get looked at. I also have never gotten a biopsy of the remaining mass in my back and that is now starting to come to the surface after that infection was cut out. (Hooray ultrasounds) It is definitely getting bigger so hopefully it is not the big C.
Group was good today. I have been so ignorant to all these concepts – so many acronyms to learn. DBT and CBT were tonight. It is a lot to take in and process. Where do you even begin when it comes to trying to accept things? Then to also think on the opposite side as well. Its a lot.
I still have yet to figure out where do you start when you have a million things going in your head at once. How do you pick which thing to use? Where do you start with trying to center yourself? If something is big enough to stop me in my tracks the last thing I am thinking about is regimented breathing or splashing cold water on my face or mindfulness – how do you make that second nature?
If you are going to be anxious anyway... 