*** I am alive
*** I am rediscovering personal connections
*** I have an opportunity to get healthy and I am following through with it
For the first time in a VERY long time I am reminded of all the people in my life. I have been surrounded by people day in and day out for years, but those are not the people in my life.
Having this opportunity to be able to be more present in my siblings lives, my new nephews, friends I have spent far too long turning down for social time – has been great. It has made it readily apparent and really confirmed my belief in how much I was missing.
As I continue going through this path to “healing” – which still feels weird for me to say, feels hokey – one of the most important connections I have been rebuilding is with myself. I have been incredibly blind and ignorant to my own well being – physically/mentally/emotionally. Giving myself the time to analyze my own thoughts and wants has been pretty cathartic. Something that I wish I had given myself years ago.
I find myself remembering how many other facets there was to me beyond my career. So many different things I felt strongly about.
I am again in kind of a weird space Thursday’s date with the scalpel will make things either much easier or bring on an entirely new level of problems to figure out.
Without dwelling on it, I feel I am already more prepared now than I was a month ago. I have a better team behind me. I am not alone.
If you are going to be anxious anyway... 